Please Fix Me!

Dear God,

I am aware of a distance between us right now. I don't know what I have done to cause this, and I am lost on how to get back on track with you. I feel empty inside due to lack of feeling your presence. Where have you gone and why? I know you tend to leave me for a bit when you want to teach me something. But right now I am in desperate need of your guidance. I don't know what to do. I feel like my faith isn't as solid as it needs to be. I want to be so firm that I can stand alone and be fine. I don't want to feel like I need reassurance from others. I only want reassurance from you.
Please tell me what I need to do! I just feel lost and like I need a fresh perspecitve on things.
I have gotten to legalistic with my time with you. I need to break away from routine and get to know Jesus. He is my savior and my brother and I need to know him! I want to know him in my heart as well as in my mind. Please reveal yourself to me Lord. I hate when I get to a new place with you and I feel like I am reaching in the darkness to find you and I don't find anything accept me feeling sorry for myself and questioning your existance. Is there some way we can make it so that doesn't happen anymore? I don't want to question everytime something goes wrong or I get worried that you won't come through for me. Please forgive me for being weak in this area.
Or is it just a choice that I have to make to follow you and believe you know matter how bad things get? If that is so, do you really think I am ready for that? I am only asking because I know I am not fully mature yet and need to build spiritual strenth before embarking further on this journey with you. Maybe that is why you are distant now so that I can find you on my own
and never have to question again. Could you at least give me a hint of where to go or what to do?
I am completely clueless at the moment.
Thanks for listening and I love you! :-)