I know that every day I have on this Earth is precious because it is your will that I be here.
My question is this, how can I make every day just as special as the important ones like Christmas, and Easter and Thanksgiving? I am tired of the everyday stuff sometime. I know it is a gift in itself, but with you I want every day to be special and stand out in some way.
Can you please show me what I need to do in order to accomplish this?
Some days seem so blah, ho hum, whatever you want to call it. I know that is part of life, but who is to say that each day can't have something spectacular happen? Or am I over looking the obvious? Why is it that we humans seek more than what we have been given to work with?
I guess what I am really talking about it my relationship with you. I want my relationship with you to take me to new heights each and every day no matter what my circumstances are. Please tell me how to do that? Is there some element that is lacking? I pray that you would enlighten me.

Sane or not so sane?

I don't normally think too much about my dreams. That is until I learned that God can communicate to us through them. I don't normally share them either out of fear of being called insane.
Today however, I feel the need to share this one. While napping I was having a very intense dream-- I was dreaming that I was running back and forth up and down my street trying to find my neighbors, my husband, my uncle who had come by to visit. Trying to find anything familiar. The scene was a day much like today, gloomy sky but with about a half a foot of snow on the ground. It was eerily quiet. I ran to my neighbor's house to see if she was there to ask what was going on, but a whole new family had moved in and I was even more confused then. So I left and ran to the top of the street and turned to look and see an aqua blue pick up truck driving off before I had a chance to ask them what happened to everyone and everything. I was completely and utterly alone. But not only that, all the houses were the same, but they weren't. I don't know how else to explain it accept they had turned into different functioning places. My house happened to turn into a toy factory when I ran back down to see if Trey or David had returned. That is the point that I woke up.
When I woke from this dream I felt a little confused as you might imagine. I immediately asked God what the significance of this dream meant and sure enough I got an answer....
The Lord told me that I really am alone in this world no matter how many people are in it. All I have is Him and my focus should be on that relationship versus all the other people I feel I need to be in relationship with. Even if there were no people left in this world, God it still there. In a way the dream was more comforting after hearing that. But it also tells me that I need to focus more on God and not so much on others. At first it was scary being all alone. I think that is one of my biggest fears is being abandoned and having no one to confide in. But hello, God wants that with me!!! Why is it that I will go to everyone else before I confide in Him? How do I change this?

not sure what to call this one...

God created the earth and he created us for his good pleasure. I accept this as truth. Another
truth that I am accepting is one about myself. I know that Christ is living in me, and because of that, I am now also wanting to create. We were not meant to be idle.
I am not sure what I can commit to, if anything. I just know that I want something to call my own. Not necessarily a child, but more like something that is completely random, but beautiful.
God what would you have me create? What can my contribution be? You created so much beauty in nature and in human beings. How can I possibly add to that? I ask you to give me something. Something that comes naturally and that can be used for your glory. I want my
creativity to show even more of yours. What do I do and how do I begin. My life has to be so much more than daily necessities of survival. It is time that I figure it out. God I ask you to help me with this process. Please give me a vision or something! Thank you for making me
aware of this.

Faith, Hope, and Love...

My husband often sees me get hurt by those I love. Then he sees me still remain friends or cordial with people. He asks me " How can you still hang out with that person? ". I really don't know how to answer him. I know the answer but I don't think he could understand me. I love people. I have been hurt pretty badly by people in the past, but I can never turn a cold shoulder.
I may be naive in that respect because I know that people can take advantage of someone who is so loving. Maybe that is how I got hurt in the first place. But I can't stop remaining connected with those whom have had an impact on my life. I can't stop loving people for who they are or aren't. How do you explain this to someone who doesn't have the Holy Spirit living in them?
The bible tells us the greatest of these is Love. I guess that is a part of me now since I have Jesus living inside of me for the rest of my days. I can still get mad a people and hurt by them, but once I'm over it, it's just as if it never happened. This is how God loves us and wants us to love those that He loves (everyone).

Obedience is what makes God smile! It is also a form of worship because when we submit to the Lord, we are recognizing Him as our God. Through our obedience we are able to bring God glory through our lives.

shelter, a good thing or a bad thing?

In a way I resent having such a sheltered life. I am grateful that I didn't have to grow up in the type of world that most do, but I don't think it was helpful either. What do you mean you might ask? Well first of all, I have have no idea what it means to truly fend for oneself. I don't know what it means to be without because I have always had. I haven't walked a day in some one else's shoes that makes one dollar wage per day to feed their family. I have always had the bare necessities available to me. So this is why I feel like living a sheltered life has harmed me.
I wouldn't have the slightest idea on how to relate to someone who has to sleep on a bed of dirt, or walk everywhere with no shoes. I do pray for these distant lands that are suffering due to poverty, war, or illness that consumes their daily life. To them it is just like any other day, but if I were thrown into a situation like that, even just for a few days, I would feel so lost. I wouldn't know how to take care of myself.
I do want to know what that it like though. If I ever get a chance to go on a mission trip I will.
And please don't think that I am bashing the life that I was given. That is not my intention at all.
Just merely pointing out that sometimes living such a sheltered life can make you so unaware, and maybe at times, a little self centered.

selfish spoiled brat

Dear God,

Please forgive me for being so selfish. I have forgotten that it is because of you that I have what I have. You have chosen to bless me or not to bless me for your own reasons. Please help me to get rid of my selfishness. I want my life to bring you glory, and I know that I need to stop focusing on myself and focus on what I can do to make you happy. I have forgotten that what you have already given me is a free gift that I do not deserve in the first place. How is it that we as humans forget this so quickly. If we are made uncomfortable for a while we feel like we are owed something by you since you are in control? I am so sorry for always blaming you when things get a little uncomfortable.
Jesus, please come into my heart and don't ever leave me! I need you to help me to change all the areas that need changing. I want my life to glorify God. I can honestly say that lately it hasn't. I feel bad about this and I have been trying to go my own way. It doesn't work. The joy has not been there. I don't want to go through this hard time alone. I need God to get me through this. I want to be able to bring glory to God during this season in my life. Please show me how.
God I hope you can forgive me for being so selfish and for only thinking of my own needs. No wonder you have been hiding yourself from me lately. I look at who I am right now and I don't like it. I need Jesus to help me change because I don't know how to change myself. I feel so wretched as a person. I am just amazed that you can still love someone who is such a mess.
Your unconditional love is so over my head. I act like a selfish spoiled brat and you still take me back each time.
Teach me your ways God. Teach me how to be like your son, Jesus. I need a spiritual make over and fast! I fear the enemy taking my joy and taking me away from you. I am sorry for how I have behaved recently. I ask your forgiveness and I ask for your instruction on what I can do to bring you glory in my current situation. I love you and I never want to be apart from you. I need to start focusing on what is above instead of what is here. I need to remember that here is only temporary!

Love,
Heather