Friday, February 27, 2009

stop trying so hard

I have learned that the reason I haven't had victory in some areas troubling me is because I am still living in the flesh. I am still trying to do things for God or for myself and it isn't working. I am only gaining frustration and wasted energy.
How long does it take a person to stop trying to live for God and just allow Christ to live through me? I wish I knew the answer to that. This is part of my process right now. I know one day I'll wake up and be ready to exercise or quit smoking, but not until I stop trying and let God do it for me. It is just so frustrating because I want to accomplish it now, but God says it is not the right time for me. I know the time will come one day when I am not obsessing so much anymore. When I can just learn to accept me for who I am, just like Jesus does.
Until then, I guess all I can do is continue to pray for God's favor in my life and use my energy to get to know Him better. I need to focus more on my relationship with Him so that when I hear him speak to me I know his voice.
I need the victory, but Jesus has to do it through me if that is his will for my life! I guess I need to be okay with that too. Stop trying to do things that may not be what God wants for me right now.

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