Intimidated by Intimacy

Dear Father In Heaven,

Why is it that I avoid spending time alone when you when I know I need to? I need alone time with you each and every day. I would like to make every moment alone time with you if that is possible.
However, I have come to a conclusion as to why I allow every distraction possible to stand in the way of our time together. This helps to explain why I don't feel so satisfied with the time I do spend with you. I am intimidated. You are so amazing and awesome and so hard for me to wrap my head around. You are everything! You made me for your pleasure and that is overwhelming to me. I guess I am finding it hard to believe that you would want me that much. I have always had issues with feeling wanted. I don't know why I seek that so much from others when I should be seeking you for that fulfillment. But then again, it goes back to being scared of you. Not scared in a way that I am afraid to talk to you, but scared of the depth that I know I can go to with you.
It is the most overwhelming thing I have ever tried to grasp. You who created me would want to
be as close to me as I am with my husband on certain levels. That is the only thing I can compare to.
Trust me, I do want this with you. I just need you to help me get past the whole Father/Daughter aspect and be more comfortable with the friendship aspect. I guess I am having a hard time accepting that you would want that relationship with me. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. So this Holiday season, my greatest gift that could be given would be for me to get over my fear of developing that type of relationship with you. Why is that so intimidating? I wish I knew.
So please don't be offended if I avoid you. It isn't because I don't want to be with you, it is because I am truly intimidated by intimacy with you. That is my heart and you have my heart.
I leave the rest up to you. If you want that with me, then come after me and never let me go!
I long to know that I am wanted by you. That is the bottom line. There is a difference in being loved and being wanted. I also know that if I knew that I was wanted by you, then I would not care about being wanted by others anymore. It just wouldn't bother me nearly as much.
Thanks for listening.

Love,
Heather