every day I have the choice to surrender or not to surrender. i can surrender to my flesh or I can surrender everything to God and let him take care things for me that I can't do myself.
i have always had an issue of needing to be in control. i guess I still have this issue or i wouldn't be writing this today. lately i've had this idea that quitting smoking is something that i can do on my own, but now i've realized that i can't do it on my own.
i desperately need the Lord to step in and intervene on my behalf becuase my flesh is week. i have proven this to myself each time i give in and have a cigarette. this calls for drastic measures. i now know that i can't quit on my own or in my own power. i need God to do it for me!
why is it that i haven't realized this until now? god even gave me the motivation and the will power in the begining and that lasted all of two weeks. now i'm back to struggling each day and having two or three.
what is worse, is that i know God does not want this for me and each time i have one it is saying to God that I don't believe He can overcome this for me. I am also deliberately sinning against Him now that I know it is not what He wants.
How do we as human beings keep doing this to ourselves whatever ths case may be? What is it going to take to surrender each and every day of our lives? Or each and every moment for that matter?
I want to surrender and let God do the hard work for me, but at the same time my flesh cries out and I am caught in the middle. What to do? This is the ultimate test of faith. Do I give in to my flesh, or do I stomp on it by giving it all to God. The choice is mine and only mine to make each and every time. Who knew that something so simple would teach me so much?
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