Need to be loved

I finally figured out what has been wrong with me all these years. My whole life I have spent trying to fit in and feel wanted and accepted by others. It has made it hard for me to make friends in that I tend to be more needy than most. I am so unassure of myself that if I don't hear back from someone via email or phone after I've attempted contact for whatever reason, I immediately think I've done something to make them not like me anymore.
Even in elementary school I was made fun of and in junior high I struggled to fit in by acting out
to get attention. And in high school I did a bunch of things I'm not proud of just to be accepted by my people I thought were my friends but really weren't.
And now to this day I still have trouble feeling accepted. Even by those I am closest too. Why is it that I feel this way? Where does it come from? How is it that this thing has followed me my whole life and taken me this long to figure out? I feel week for the lack of confidence. I shouldn't worry about what others think of me but I do.
But this problem has lead to an even bigger problem. It has prevented me from fully accepting
God's love. I have yet to receive it and know it in my heart that He loves me unconditionally.
I want that more than anything. I've had Him show his love and answer prayers, but I haven't utterly received it deep in my soul. I feel that I will not be a true christian until this happens. I have felt like a phony ever since I've got saved because I don't feel things the way other people talk about them. I feel like something is wrong with me and I finally know why.
So what do I do to feel this unconditional love that I so long for? Are there some magical words that I need to pray for this miracle to occur inside of me? I just don't want to be cast out because
I haven't had this happen to me yet. I want it more than anything. I want to be in love with God
and know his love for me! Help!