So this past weekend was pretty intense for me. I was not feeling God's presence when I went looking for Him, and I had to do some real searching to figure out why He chose to hide himself from me.
What I discovered completely changed everything. God spoke to me after I threw my little temper tantrum and said, you need to stop putting so much faith in teachers this world and put all of your faith in me. Learning from earthly teachers is good, but I need to go to God first and balance the rest so that I don't forget that God is the one who gives the teachers their message.
I was putting too much time and engergy into learning from a certain teacher and not enough time learning from God. So he hid himself until I diligently sought him out. He really is a jealous God!
Another thing that he spoke to me was that I need to take emphasis of myself so much and my desires and focus on what He desires of me. I was being disobedient in that He told me something to do and I went and did the opposite out of fear and control.
He also spoke that I need to focus only on putting him first, letting him teach me through the word, loving others, and obeying Him always.
I finally feel like I am getting back to normal now. It is not a good feeling when you don't feel that God is near. But sometimes I need to be made aware and that is how He chooses to reach me.
I can't believe I was not even aware that these simple things were sin, but to God they are.
Please pray for me that I will be quick to obey and seek Him in everything that I do!
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